Which straw will be the one to break the camel's back?

Monday, September 24, 2007

Don't people blog on the weekends? I kept thinking something was wrong with Bloglines because all my feeds sat dormant for hours and hours and hours.

What? What's that? You all have lives on the weekend and don't sit around waiting for people to update blogs? Oh. Okay.

Not like I have room to talk. I didn't post anything yesterday, breaking my daily updating streak. If I had, all it would have said was I NOW UNDERSTAND WHY SOME SPECIES EAT THEIR YOUNG. Because sleep around here? It is crap again. Complete and total crap. We were doing so well by the middle of last week and I naively thought that the sleep demons were gone. But in the past two days, he has totally regressed. He starts crying if I even take him near the crib. And if I lay him in it? Alert the press because it is a BIG DEAL and he screams and screams and refuses to nurse.

And of course now I feel like a total failure because apparently I have traumatized my baby so much that he is terrified of his crib. Mother of the Year right here.

I am out of ideas. Sawyer was never like this. We'd put him in his crib and not hear a peep out of him til morning. He loved sleep and still does most of the time. Which of course, begs the most logical question: what did we do differently with Sawyer? Big difference: Sawyer was formula fed and Beckett is breastfed. I hate to jump right to the conclusion that being breastfed is the reason he has such horrible sleep habits, but at this point I have nothing else to go on.

This breaks my heart because I love breastfeeding, I believe it's the best thing for him, and it kills me to think that he might sleep better if he was on formula. No, I won't wean him, and never would for such a selfish reason. Because really, the person suffering most from his sleep issue is me, not him. So I'll just have to suck it up. But if a year rolls around and his sleep isn't any better? You can bet the weaning process will be starting. I'm crunchy but I'm no Mother Theresa. I do not intend to endure two or more years of a child who still nurses ten times a night. I draw the line somewhere.

When I started solids last week, my main reason for it was that I had hopes it would help him sleep better. Well, I couldn't tell you if it does or not because apparently my kid is part of a vast minority who wants nothing to do with anything that doesn't come from a boob. We've tried bananas, avocados, oatmeal and nectarines. He ate the bananas the first two times, but ever since then, all have been met with a sour face and and instant deposit down his bib.

I spent $50 on fruits and veggies and several hours preparing them and freezing them last night and this morning, and now I have doubts that he will even eat any of it. And seriously? Baking and pureeing fruit is a job. The skins of the peaches and nectarines did not "pucker and slip off" like several websites would have me believe. I had to take a knife to them and scrape the skins off little by little, with Beckett tugging at my pant leg all the while because he does not occupy himself for more than 10 minutes at a time. So I'm sad to say it, but this will probably be the last time I make his food for awhile.

Now that I feel totally inadequate as a mom having laid all that out there, I should go relax some while I can. I hear him stirring already and he's only been asleep twenty minutes. I never had the intention of using this blog as an outlet for frustrations, because I feel that negative attitudes don't really solve anything. But sometimes, a girl's gotta vent.

I guess I could at least end the post on a good note. Here's Beckett in his Halloween costume. I could tick off all the reasons it sucks and I paid way too much for it, but I don't suppose that would be very positive. So I'll just post the picture.


Blogged by Making A Modern Family at 2:22 PM  


MomSmoo said...

I am so so so sorry! Having a kid not sleep sucks the life outta you and that is being said even though R only gets up 2 times a night at max. At 6m, B gave L some water in a bottle and after 2 nights of not getting the boob (and two horrid nights at that!) he kinda gave up. Beckett seems a little stubborn though, so I don't know if it would work for you, but seriously, assvice is all I got for you right now!

Mon Sep 24, 03:10:00 PM EDT

louann said...

First, that little bumble bee is the cutest bee-EVER!
Sleeping..sleep habits. My older one was a terrible sleeper - until now, sleep doesn't appeal much to him.
The little one is more of the sleeper.
It just really differs from kid to kid, I guess. Sometimes, no matter what we do, they're just really that way. BUT I hope your little one be able to develope better sleep habits.

Mon Sep 24, 09:16:00 PM EDT

Allison said...

that costume is ADORABLE! And I feel you on the sleep thing... mine was reversed, nolan was my bf baby and we finally sleep trained at 6 mos because I was a walking zombie and as dh says "not being very nice" heh. We had started to wean anyway because of the whole front teeth coming in, baby liking to bite thing... Seth was formula fed earlier on and it was never an issue... I don't think he was more satisfied on the formula, I just think he didn't have the crutch of nursing to sleep as nolan did.

I wish I had better advice, hang in there... it's bound to get better.

Mon Sep 24, 09:19:00 PM EDT

ellinghouse said...

all I can say is that your doing the best job you can, a great job at that. This is just a season and you will get through it. Keep up the good work!

The costume is soooo cute!

Tue Sep 25, 09:04:00 AM EDT

Jenni said...

Alicia, it ain't the breast milk. lol Louise still isn't sleeping through the night and has been a horrible sleeper since she was about a week old. Doesn't like naps either, just her personality and system I guess. I bf for the first 3 months as much as I could, but had to supplement with formula and finally switch. It made no difference in her insistence on waking at all hours of the night. sigh
I hope you find what works soon, I know all about sleep deprivation:)

Tue Sep 25, 02:51:00 PM EDT

Alicia said...


Well, that makes me feel a little better! I joke with DH that we screwed up all kinds of stuff with Sawyer and he was the easy baby, and now here we are doing everything "right" with Beckett so of course he is the difficult one. Irony! :)

Tue Sep 25, 04:05:00 PM EDT

Jenn said...

I was in the exact same place that you are just a few months ago. A trip to the naturopath helped incredibly (it didn't cure EVERYTHING, but it sure helped) We started putting chamomile in the nightly bath, a lavender burner in his bedroom, and I had a big old cup of sleepytime tea an hour or so before the baby's bedtime nursing, in theory that he'd get it through the milk. Theres also chammomile "pellets" that you can get at heath food stores that have been a lifesaver for us (works great for teething too.)

Good Luck! It will get better!!

Wed Sep 26, 12:06:00 PM EDT

Katie said...

You are an amazing mom--it sucks when sleep gets ripped from you! Daniel was breastmilk fed and had crazy sleep issues--Samuel is breastfed and he's an amazing sleeper...I think it's a temperment issue...sorry you're having such a rough time!

Thu Sep 27, 02:35:00 PM EDT


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