Don't people blog on the weekends? I kept thinking something was wrong with Bloglines because all my feeds sat dormant for hours and hours and hours.

What? What's that? You all have lives on the weekend and don't sit around waiting for people to update blogs? Oh. Okay.

Not like I have room to talk. I didn't post anything yesterday, breaking my daily updating streak. If I had, all it would have said was I NOW UNDERSTAND WHY SOME SPECIES EAT THEIR YOUNG. Because sleep around here? It is crap again. Complete and total crap. We were doing so well by the middle of last week and I naively thought that the sleep demons were gone. But in the past two days, he has totally regressed. He starts crying if I even take him near the crib. And if I lay him in it? Alert the press because it is a BIG DEAL and he screams and screams and refuses to nurse.

And of course now I feel like a total failure because apparently I have traumatized my baby so much that he is terrified of his crib. Mother of the Year right here.

I am out of ideas. Sawyer was never like this. We'd put him in his crib and not hear a peep out of him til morning. He loved sleep and still does most of the time. Which of course, begs the most logical question: what did we do differently with Sawyer? Big difference: Sawyer was formula fed and Beckett is breastfed. I hate to jump right to the conclusion that being breastfed is the reason he has such horrible sleep habits, but at this point I have nothing else to go on.

This breaks my heart because I love breastfeeding, I believe it's the best thing for him, and it kills me to think that he might sleep better if he was on formula. No, I won't wean him, and never would for such a selfish reason. Because really, the person suffering most from his sleep issue is me, not him. So I'll just have to suck it up. But if a year rolls around and his sleep isn't any better? You can bet the weaning process will be starting. I'm crunchy but I'm no Mother Theresa. I do not intend to endure two or more years of a child who still nurses ten times a night. I draw the line somewhere.

When I started solids last week, my main reason for it was that I had hopes it would help him sleep better. Well, I couldn't tell you if it does or not because apparently my kid is part of a vast minority who wants nothing to do with anything that doesn't come from a boob. We've tried bananas, avocados, oatmeal and nectarines. He ate the bananas the first two times, but ever since then, all have been met with a sour face and and instant deposit down his bib.

I spent $50 on fruits and veggies and several hours preparing them and freezing them last night and this morning, and now I have doubts that he will even eat any of it. And seriously? Baking and pureeing fruit is a job. The skins of the peaches and nectarines did not "pucker and slip off" like several websites would have me believe. I had to take a knife to them and scrape the skins off little by little, with Beckett tugging at my pant leg all the while because he does not occupy himself for more than 10 minutes at a time. So I'm sad to say it, but this will probably be the last time I make his food for awhile.

Now that I feel totally inadequate as a mom having laid all that out there, I should go relax some while I can. I hear him stirring already and he's only been asleep twenty minutes. I never had the intention of using this blog as an outlet for frustrations, because I feel that negative attitudes don't really solve anything. But sometimes, a girl's gotta vent.

I guess I could at least end the post on a good note. Here's Beckett in his Halloween costume. I could tick off all the reasons it sucks and I paid way too much for it, but I don't suppose that would be very positive. So I'll just post the picture.