Having two kids was a bad, bad idea. No, let me rephrase that. Having these two kids was a bad idea. I should have ordered the model with the mute button and autopilot feature. (Those of you with more than two kids -- I maintain the opinion that you are completely fruit loops. I mean that in the nicest way.)

Today has most definitely earned the infamous label of One of Those Days. Yes, at only 8:30 in the morning. The baby has decided that he can't leave my side absolutely ever, which would be fine if I, you know, didn't have a single other thing that ever needed my attention. Ever. Oh, and he's learned that my shoulder makes a convenient snot rag. This makes for an awesome fashion accessory, let me tell you. Snot distressed tees.

And the toddler's affliction with Crisco and tearing paper into tiny little shreds doesn't exactly make for a clean house. He also finds joy in saying, "Look Mommy, rocks!" while chunking one from his hidden stash across the room.

My title comes from Kate Gosselin. She muttered it under her breath on an episode of Jon & Kate + 8 and immediately I was like, "YES. Preach it, sistah!" Although the thought of comparing my life to hers is absolutely laughable, because if I were in her shoes I'd have ran away to Mexico a long time ago. People are definitely born with certain levels of patience -- mine is down here and hers is up here. (Picture me doing some frantic low and high hand gestures.)

I called the husband crying already this morning (poor guy hadn't even made it to work yet) and he said I could come downtown for lunch. To which I whined, "But that's still four hours away. I'm losing my mind now." Plus, that would involve taking a shower and making myself look more like an actual functioning person, so we'll see if I can muster up enough motivation.

Oh, and it appears that not only am I allergic to Neosporin, but I have also developed an allergy for Band-Aids. And yes, I found out the hard way.

I think my comfort food of the day is going to be Halloween Mix. Take a bag of candy corn (I like Brach's Autumn Mix; the little pumpkins are cute) and a jar of dry roasted peanuts (although I'm making a double batch and using both dry roasted and honey roasted) and mix it all together in a bowl. Something about the sweet and salty combination is amazing. Like a Payday. Try it. Love it. Thank me later.