Friday, January 9, 2009
I have been on the verge of tears all day. Ugh! I know I need to just give in and have a good cry but DH is playing poker at a friend's house and I don't want to do it alone.
It has been such an emotional day for me and I'm sure it doesn't help that I've missed two doses of my Zoloft in all the excitement. Why am I a blubbering mess? Here's why:
My good friend since high school gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl today. I was at the hospital with her last night and stayed up until the birth aside from a couple hours of sleep at a friend's place.
I am so incredibly ecstatic for her but I also didn't expect the huge wave of emotions that would take over me. Seeing a laboring mama and then the tiny little baby that comes out of it really brought all the memories of Beckett's birth flooding back for me. And I won't lie, a few times today I have caught myself thinking, "Oh my god, that hurt. Really bad. And I have to do it again. What was I thinking??" I know it'll all turn out fine but it's so different when you see someone you know go through it as opposed to doing it yourself or seeing it on TV or the internet.
I also got the.. privilege *cough* of having my birthing choices challenged to my face over and over again throughout the day. An opinionated mama bear watching her youngest daughter go through natural labor - and very obviously blaming you for her daughter making the choice to attempt such a feat - does not equal a fun time. And being told that she "hopes I go through this tenfold" - well, you can only imagine how great that was to hear.
I just need a good hot bath and a long cuddle with my hubby to relax all the stress away. And tomorrow I'll get to go and love and squish on a newborn and hopefully that will make today not seem so rough.
Sat Jan 10, 08:21:00 PM EST