This one gets hairy (ha ha, I'm punny)

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Hello, separation anxiety. How pleasant to see you again. Didn't we already get plenty acquainted the last time you were here though? Please try not to overstay your welcome, thanks.

Trying to fix my hair was interesting this morning, with Mr. Separation Anxiety here as a guest. Beckett crawled after me screaming his loud little head off until I strapped him to my back in the mei tai, which, in case you were wondering, is not the most ideal thing to have on your back when you're wielding a hair dryer. So that didn't last long.

And see, I'm hair impaired. I'm one of those people who can never get their hair to look as good as the stylist does. I hold out on washing for as long as I can, so as to preserve the state of hair euphoria I get from the salon. And now that I have this rockin' purple hair, I'm not supposed to wash it as much. I washed it for the first time on Tuesday, and was less than impressed with how it looked after I styled it, and then bitched to a friend about it. To which she responded, in the most well-meaning way, that maybe I needed something to make it more shiny (and of course I got pissy, because I'm a woman and that is what We Do, and was then obsessed with finding a way to fix it).

I got lots of helpful advice, like more product actually makes it more dull and only washing in cold water. Which would be a hell of a lot easier if we had a detachable shower head. But, we don't, so instead I washed it in the shower and then applied the conditioner and got out to rinse it in the tub with a big cup. Because me and cold showers? We do not mix.

I dumped cup after cup of cold water on my head, being sure to come at it from every angle to get a good rinse. Or so I thought. Then I went downstairs to start the drying process, which now takes about three times as long since I have also learned that heat is bad and evil and makes your hair dull. And I have hair thicker than a friggin' wooly mammoth's. After 20 minutes of drying I was starting to realize that the "wetness" wasn't really going away, even though it was mostly dry. Yeah, not only do I suck at styling, but I apparently also suck at what should be the easiest part: rinsing. I didn't get all the damn conditioner rinsed out and my hair was a greasy mess. Lovely.

We were supposed to meet a friend for lunch at 11am and it was 10:17, and I still had to get the boys ready. So I threw on a headband and attempted to salvage it enough to go out in public. And that was a big negative. It was slicked down and stuck to my head and just gross. So in a matter of about 15 minutes, I said screw the cold water and the cold hair dryer, jumped in the shower to wash it yet again (twice in one day, for shame!), I used my regular shampoo without color protection (bad bad bad!) then flipped my head over and dried it like mad on the hot setting. And you know what? It looks surprisingly decent now. Still not the same, though. And no, not shiny.

And I'm still pissed that I can't use a brush and a hair dryer at the same time, or get the cold rinse down, or use the spray wax and mousse without looking like a grease ball, or work magic with a flat iron and it's just ANNOYING. Seriously, I've been doing my own hair since I was what, 12? And I still don't have the first clue what I'm doing? NOT COOL. My mom never showed me how to apply makeup either, which led to me sitting on YouTube learning how to do smoky eyes for the first time EVER on Monday night. One of the many reasons I'm glad I don't have girls.

Jaclyn has been more than patient with me though, answering all my stupid questions and giving me ideas. So I have to be a good pupil and keep trying, so I can have hot hair when I visit her and Lucas. (Wink wink, Jaclyn!)

So tell me, oh great Internets. What is your hair routine? Got any great secrets? Fool-proof tricks? Please do shair share with the Hair Impaired.

Blogged by Making A Modern Family at 3:33 PM  


Jenn said...

I'm a "get out of the shower apply a bit of product and go" kind of gal. I also have short hair which looks better when it's "textured." I call it textured, my mother calls it messy. Whatever! The only suggestion I have from my longer haired days is to towel dry the crap out of it - cuts down on drying time. There's also a great line of hair stuff that I use from Eufora, which my hairdresser claims to be "so organic you can eat it." Not that I would, but you never know what's going to get eaten with a toddler in the house!

Thu Nov 15, 04:37:00 PM EST

- Kelly said...

OMG girl, I must say I am RIGHT there with you! My 1 & 2 yo refuse to leave me alone for more than 2 seconds in the bathroom (unless Pooh & Tigger on are?). With that said, even if I have all the time in the world I can never get my hair to look like the stylist does :( I think perhaps we were twins seperated at birth? And now I"m heading to youtube to look up doing my makeup right b/c my mom never showed me either !LOL! I'm almost embarrassed to admit that my 16yo niece can do her makeup better than me.. Maybe I should ask her to show me?!

Thu Nov 15, 06:52:00 PM EST

fizzledink said...

My mom was similarly deficient.

Seriously, there's a YouTube smoky-eye remedial tutorial? And you didn't share the link? For shame!

Thu Nov 15, 08:31:00 PM EST

Julene said...

This is a tad long, but I'll do my best.

- I only wash my hair once every 5-7 days in cool water, same with my shampoo. It keeps your hair folicles closed so you'll prolong the life of the purple in your hair. I suggest buying a colored-hair specific shampoo. I use some stuff in a red bottle made by Redken.

- I always towel dry my hair first. Yes, I wander around with a towel turban for a while. I blow dry my hair warm, and switch it to cool air once my hair is mostly dry to keep it shiney.

- I don't use too much product because the oils from your hair will definitely make up for the product in the next few days. If I'm trying to get more body, etc. I back comb near the roots of my hair and don't use product near there.

- If I flat iron, I always go back with a blow dryer afterwards to keep from looking like I'm wearing a bad wig. (I dunno why, but too much flat ironing makes people look that way to me.)

That's all I can think of... for now.

Thu Nov 15, 08:31:00 PM EST

Crooked Eyebrow said...

I just saw your flickr photo, you have very nice hair and I'm liking the purple.


Thu Nov 15, 09:01:00 PM EST

Renee said...

I am horrible with hair and makeup.
I never blow dry, my hair is naturally straight. I only use a gloss I got from the hair dressers if I'm feeling like I need to look like I've put some effort in. My makeup is simple, I don't know how to make it look great.

No help, but I'm with you.

Sat Nov 17, 04:52:00 PM EST


I have some good hair advice for shorter hair, but not anything longer than that.

As far as long hair goes, all I can suggest os using Dove Volume & LIft (or something like that) to add volume to your hair. It's a kind of mousse.

I'm no good with hair. That's why I am super-low maintenance.

Tue Nov 20, 09:06:00 PM EST

Dr. J said...

Okay, I'm useless here. I wash my hair every other night, comb it only once right before I jump in the water and then do not a damn thing with it once I get out. I walk around with a towel on my shoulders like it's a cape and wait for it to dry. Once it dries (on it's own because I'm lazy) that's that.

So, anything you do with your hair already places you at the more advanced section of the pile!

Sat Nov 24, 12:42:00 AM EST


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