One of the top questions on the List of Completely Irrelevant Things To Ask a New Mom is, "Is he sleeping through the night?" I never know how to answer this question because if I say no, I get bombarded with oh bless your heart!s and you know, sometimes babies need to just crys and I gave my baby formula/solids/Oreos and that's when he started sleeping!s. Also known as UHIPA: Unsolicited How I Parented Assvice. But if I say yes, then I'd be, well.. lying. (For the record, I usually just say yes.)

Bex is 5 and a half months old, and no, he does not sleep through the night. He has never slept through the night once in his life and I don't expect him to start sleeping through the night for quite some time. I am okay with this, although apparently random strangers at the grocery store and post office are not.

Last night he was up for the second or third time and DH had brought him back into our room because he was wide awake and having no part of being in his crib. DH laid him down on the bed and as soon as he heard my voice he contorted his body around sideways so he could see me, and proceeded to cling onto either side of my face with both hands and bury his nose in my cheek. This is his version of Bex Hugs and it is seriously one of the cutest things I've ever witnessed. He presses his face to mine so hard that I'm sure it's impossible for him to breathe, but I absolutely love it. He is showing more attachment to me every day and it seriously is the greatest thing.

Friday night I had gone out with my mom, leaving DH equipped with some pumped milk in a bottle. Going out for any length of time is a new privilege for me, because for the first five months of his life, Bex refused to eat from anything but the tap. Flattering, yes, but extremely tiring. So I was ecstatic when I finally found a bottle he didn't outright refuse. However, it also means that I still worry the whole time I'm gone, so after a couple hours I tried calling DH and when I got no answer, we stopped by the house.

I came inside and the house was dark, but I could see DH standing in the living room with the baby, awake. As soon as that boy saw me (I actually think he just sensed me, either that or he has night vision), he literally LUNGED for me, his two bottom teeth front and center in a huge ear-to-ear grin. When he smiles, he smiles with his whole face -- and his face was definitely happy to see me that night. In the past I was convinced he only loved me because I was the food source, but when I tried to feed him he only played around and was much happier just grinning at me and pulling my hair. So hey, he really likes me!

Anyway. The not sleeping thing. As I said, I don't really mind it because he usually just nurses and then goes right back to sleep. Last night though, as he has been doing more recently, he decided he'd rather stay up and play instead. Now, I will say that I am probably the luckiest woman on this side of the Mississippi in that my husband gets up with the baby at night. I feed him, but if he's not sleeping, it's DH that contends with him most of the time. It's what works for us (although I don't know, I suppose DH would argue about how much it's actually working, lol). Last night he was having a particularly rough time and I told him Bex just loves him so much that he wants time alone with him after Sam is in bed. I don't think it helped the sleep deprivation much but it did make him smile.

Lately I have been striving to Not Sweat the Small Stuff and find the joy in everything my children do, even the things that seem to move me one slot higher on the waiting list for the mental institution. I recently stumbled upon RachD's blog through a friend of a friend, and reading her blogs about the loss of her sweet girl Hannah has left a lump in my throat for days. I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but her story has definitely changed me. The way she journaled her daughter's life and now, her passing, made me long for the same chronicle of my own children's lives. I look at things so differently now and I want to write every little smile and laugh down in this memory book. Because you never know. You just never know.

So no, I don't mind that my baby still wakes up at night. It's just one more snuggle and kiss, one more face smashed up against mine, that I am blessed enough to experience.