...to bite your tongue to keep from yelling at one child while you're nursing the other? Very, very hard. Because if I utter a word while Bex is eating, he'll pop off and try to get all up in my business, causing his face to be drenched in a spray of breastmilk.

So rather than giving him (and myself) a boob shower, I watched silently as Sam sat in his high chair balling up huge chunks of a burrito-sized tortilla and stuffed them into his mouth, moistened them up a bit, and spit them back out in order to finger-paint his tray in tortilla mush. Because one mess is enough to clean up at a time, thank you very much.

Oh, but you can bet I was shooting my angry eyes at him the whole time. I GAVE HIM ANGRY EYES REAL GOOD!