Corn syrup.

And I'm not talking about in your child's food. I'm talking about in your carpet.

Do you ever compose blog posts in your head before you actually type them? That's what I was doing while mopping a foot-wide puddle of Karo from my linoleum and contemplating how in the world to get the circular swirls of it out of my carpet.

My first instinct was vinegar, which I soaked on it and then wiped up and it's not near as sticky now. My whole house is going to smell like a pickle. I already had the vinegar out yesterday when Sawyer thought it would be fun to take off his turd-filled diaper and then sit bare-butt on the carpet. Yes, we're working on the potty.

I swear, this child could start World War III in five minutes with the way he's able to destroy my house in the times it takes me to pee or get Beckett from his room. I know how my night will be spent: borrowing my parents' steam cleaner and installing a lock on the pantry, which I thought about months ago and should have already done.

And in typical Sawyer fashion, there always has to be a finale: today it was peeing on the floor after I got him out of the bath tub in the 2.5 seconds it took me to find a diaper.

Cages. A good thing sometimes. (Kidding, of course, which I have to say or I'll worry that someone will read my blog and think I'm inhumane and crate my kids like puppies.)

In all seriousness, the kid is not neglected. He's just really good at causing chaos in no time flat. Ask my DH about the time he emptied a whole bottle of Windex onto the couch when they were in the SAME room together. I kid you not. This child is a master at watching for a turned back. And I think it makes us look like inattentive parents but anyone with a toddler knows how quickly it can happen. I'm just glad he's not one of those that likes to climb on top of the TV and attempt to fly. Yeah, I think I'll take his food obsession over death-defying super toddler.

On that note, I'm thinking it might be wise for us to invest in some hardwood floors. I don't know how much more my carpet can take.

I did catch a cute picture of them today. Sawyer insisted on wearing my yellow shirt (which SHRUNK to half its original length in the dryer, and I am pissed, because I liked that shirt) and dancing around like a maniac. Beckett was enjoying the show.