Did you know that oven doors have built-in locks? Ours does. And I know this. Now, that is. It would have been nice to know before I smelled burning plastic while pre-heating for some cookies. Sawyer wanted to give his plastic stethoscope a tan, apparently. It got more of an incineration though, and I found it dripping hot down through the racks and into the bottom of the oven. TASTY. And not harmful in the least when those fumes leach into your food! I guess I should have listened to my mom when she would preach about "Always LOOK inside before you turn on the oven!" Yes, Mother.

I must be doing something right though, because my two-year-old says please and thank you. "Mommy, I want a banana, please!" Which I'm happy to oblige, and feel all giddy because as soon as I hand it to him, he says, "Thanks, Mom!" (Oh and yes, he calls me just 'Mom' sometimes. Isn't he too young for that?) AND, he throws the peel away on his own. He's quite fascinated with the trash can, actually, which is nice for me because now I can easily convince him to throw anything away for me. Of course, now is when many toys will begin to go missing, as I've already rescued Diego's maned wolf from the bottom of the bag twice.

Despite being incredibly curious and just way too smart for his own good, he really is a pretty easy kid. Which bring's me to Fizzledink's question of how we transitioned him out of the crib. And I feel kind of stupid saying this - but I honestly don't know. Sawyer has always been such a good sleeper that it wasn't much of a bump in the road at all for us. He started sleeping through the night, with no help at all from us, at around three months old. Since then, we've had a couple bouts of night waking but nothing that lasts more than a week.

So when the time came to think about breaking out the Big Boy Bed, I really wasn't worried. I was probably a tad over-confident, but at that point in parenting I'd never really had any incident with him that had knocked me on my ass too hard (no worries though, Beckett fixed that for me!)

His crib is the type that turns into toddler bed so one day when I was eight or so months pregnant, we decided to just go for it. No careful planning or a course of action, just cold turkey. (Which really makes me think I'm probably not the best person to be giving advice on this subject, but well, I'm already halfway through the story.) We wanted him out of the crib before the baby got here so we wouldn't have to worry about that on top of a newborn.

So that night, I had his bed all made up with comfy blankets and a big cushy pillow, and we took him in like normal and put him in it. Said goodnight, gave him kisses, and shut the door. Now, this part is this single most important thing we did: we put a gate on his door. I honestly don't know how we would have remained sane if it weren't for that gate. Him coming out of his room multiple times? Possibly wandering the house at night when we're sleeping? No thank you. Not to mention that the bedrooms are upstairs and I'd had visions of him tumbling down them in the dark. So the gate was a safety precaution as well as peace of mind for me.

In hindsight though, I think it definitely helped to teach him that once we put him in his room and put the gate up, it means bed time. The gate is not there during the day so he can go in and out. The first night of the Big Boy Bed, he didn't get out of bed a single time. He went right to sleep without a peep. Of course, that was the calm before the storm, because the next few nights were a relay race of running up the stairs and putting him back in bed because he'd stand at the gate and yell for us. It didn't take long for him to catch on, though. Now, if he gets up, we just ignore him and 99% of the time, he gets back in bed and goes to sleep himself. Occasionally he'll want something, like a drink or a hug or a story, and we always get him whatever he needs.

He was about 18 months old when we made the transition so he's been sleeping in his bed successfully for close to ten months. Naps, however, are another story and he generally refuses them now (although he did used to take them just fine, even in the toddler bed). So I have no advice there. Except that sometimes, you may need to turn the bed to the wall so the kiddo can't get out repeatedly (if you have a crib that has been transitioned, that is). We've had to do this a handful of times when he was extra defiant to show him that we mean business.

I have to add though that very rarely did he ever cry or act scared to be in the bed. We've never had to sit with him until he fell asleep or do anything else drastic. So, again, probably a sign that I'm not the best person to get advice from. But this was my experience and I hope that it helps somewhat. I think the key is consistency and probably the best thing you can do is to just keep trying, keep putting them back in the bed, and don't give in. Of course, if you truly feel that your child isn't ready yet, then by all means, don't force it. Take a break and try again in a week or so.

And now that I feel like a The More You Know commercial, I'll end with a video of Beckett from a few days ago. He can clap! *sniff*

As much as I talk about Beckett NOT wanting to sleep, it wouldn't be fair not to mention how much Sawyer flat out adores it. Seriously. This is a kid who has been sleeping 12 hours straight through the night since he was about two months old, and who we have never had a problem with getting him to go to sleep. He loves his bed and when he was 18 months old or so, he would actually ask to take naps. He'd find his blanket (which he calls his 'mimi') and truck upstairs, then go right to sleep without a peep.

He has since dropped his nap most days unless I force him by turning his bed to the wall (it's a crib turned toddler bed so there are still rails on three sides). But at night we never have a problem. DH usually does the bedtime honors and Sawyer is now old enough that he'll tell me he loves me and give me kisses. It's so fabulous.

Last night, he was being a pistol and throwing fits at the drop of a hat, about sending me off the deep end since Beckett was also being a beast by screeching and clawing and attempting to bite me. He refused all our suggestions for dinner and instead threw himself into a flailing heap of limbs on the floor, so DH took him up to his room to chill out. Ten minutes later, he was asleep at 6:30pm. Without dinner and his regular bedtime still an hour and a half away.

Now, once he's asleep, you can not wake him, lest you'd like to take on the beast on a whole new level. He is not a happy kid when his sleep is interrupted. But I felt insanely guilty for putting him to bed without dinner, so DH and I devised a plan to bring him a meal in his room no matter what time he woke up. Quesadillas and pears, even if it was 4am.

We went to bed around midnight and he was still sleeping. It had gotten cold in the house, so I pulled a quilt from the closet and took it in to bundle him up. He sat up when he saw me, grinning from ear to ear. I covered him up with the quilt and asked him if he was going back to sleep.

"Yes, I go night night!"

"Okay, baby, I love you, night night."

"I love you, Mommy."

And when I was halfway to the door, I heard him mumble, "Thanks!"

Seriously, how can you not completely melt after something like that? You can't not.

He also can eat yogurt with a spoon now, which he probably could have done a long time ago if I hadn't been too scared of the mess to let him. He's becoming very particular about which chair he sits in to eat (it must be the Big Boy Chair) as well as what he eats. He used to be a garbage disposal and would eat anything we put in front of him, which made it really easy to feed him a good diet full of fruit, veggies and protein. Lately, however, he turns his nose up at anything that isn't pizza, PB&J, or smothered in cheese. Typical kid, I guess. Although he does still love most any fruit, so I'm thankful for that at least.

And Beckett. What can I say about him. He's growing up faster than I remember it happening with Sawyer, yet it still seems to drag by, if that makes any sense. The sleep deprivation has me worn pretty thin, but I've given up on lamenting over it and have just decided to accept whatever sleep pattern he chooses. I don't feel like there's much I can do to change it until he weans anyway, so it's pointless to get worked up over it. As I type I can hear him waking up for the third time since we put him down two hours ago. Le sigh.

He seems so much older to me than a week shy of eight months, what with almost eight teeth lighting up his once gummy smile and being fully mobile. He can crawl clear across the house in less than ten seconds and will pull up on anything of height. Cruising is just around the corner and I have a feeling he will walk before Sawyer did.

He still doesn't care much for solids. Some days he'll gobble it up at every meal but most days he refuses it (quite loudly) unless it's super sweet fruit. He wants nothing to do with most veggies other than sweet potatoes and isn't crazy about meat either. He's great at self-feeding though so we may just jump right in to table food soon. Even on his good days with solids though, it still makes no difference on his sleep so I'm not in much of a hurry.

Most pictures I get of both of them these days are either of a backside or a chubby blonde blur. I couldn't believe I actually caught all four of them looking at the camera in the above picture. Don't be fooled, as that moment will likely never be captured on camera again. The other two are my friend's boys that I was watching for her that day. They are ages four and two. And yes, my 2-year-old and 8-month-old are the same size as them, respectively. I grow giants.

These are more typical of my usual captures. I generally have to take 60 or so in order to get a couple good face shots, and on the day I took these, I didn't get any. Hey, at least he has a cute butt.

I was all geared up to write 30 posts in 30 days for NaBloPoMo. I had some ideas ready and planned to look to some other blogs for interesting writing prompts.

Then Halloween happened, and seemed to drain me of every ounce of energy and motivation I had, and I decided to take a short bloggy vacation instead. I haven't checked in on my Bloglines feeds in days and the 'new post' button on my dashboard has gone untouched. So, like a few others, I'm a drop-out. But that's okay! I'll enjoy reading a post a day for the whole month at my favorite blogs. I never was good at meeting deadlines anyhow.

And I have to say, the break has been nice and much-needed. I had a very ME weekend, which I don't do very often. Friday night, my mom and I treated ourselves to Starbucks. I sipped hot chocolate and munched a pumpkin cream cheese muffin as we sank ourselves into their big comfy chairs and had a nice chat. We try to do this about once a month and I always look forward to it. I'm so lucky that DH doesn't mind at all and in fact, encourages me to go out and leave the boys with him. He knows I need the break and is always good at reminding me that it's OKAY to want that break. Sometimes my mommy guilt clouds over me and I feel so bad leaving them for a few hours, but I feel so refreshed and reenergized when I do.

Saturday, I left Beckett with DH and took Sawyer with me to my sister's softball game. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a chance to do something with just him, and it was so nice. Seriously, you cannot believe how much easier it is to only have to worry about a two-year-old and no baby. I was able to actually sit down and STAY sitting down as he played around me. No fumbling a squirmy baby, no trying to discreetly nurse a distractable infant among dozens of people, no shushing or swaying or walking. Yes, I'm definitely one of the few mamas who can't wait for the baby stage to be over. I don't want my babies to stay babies. I love the age Sawyer is at and will be a much more stress-free mom when Beckett is there.

My judgement is probably clouded a little by the fact that he still wakes, oh, five or six times a night. Those of you who deal with a sporadic night-waker and still go on to have more kids, my hats are off to you. I'm just not that resilient I guess and I'm not ashamed to admit it. It is HARD. I thrive on sleep and am a wreck without it so this round is it for me, no more babies. DH agrees. So uh, any tips on breaking him of nursing every hour and a half at night would be much appreciated. For the gift of sanity, I would be forever indebted to you.

Saturday night, my parents watched the boys for us so we could make it to church. After two failed attempts at taking them with us, we've accepted the fact that we'll just have to wait until they're a little older to enjoy church as a family. It's either a battle to keep them quiet throughout the service (resulting in us paying attention to nothing but them and kind of defeating the purpose of going to church in the first place) or they scream for us the whole time in the nursery. Bless the little old lady that runs the place, she does try. But they just aren't comfortable with her and I won't force them to stay there and be hysterical the whole time.

So, we were able to enjoy the service alone for once and it was a nice breather. Afterwards, DH took the boys home and I went out for dinner with some friends I hadn't seen in awhile. I really owe him now because he allowed me TWO getaways this weekend. He's a brave man. I told him he needs to plan something with his friends and asked him, "Don't guys go out to dinner like women? Why can't you do that?"

"Oh, yes, I'll just call Larry and be like, 'Hey, you wanna hit Panera with me? Oh oh and there's a JoAnn's right there, we can make a night of it!'"

Judging by the high-pitched lispy voice he used, I'm guessing that's a no? Men are strange. Don't some guys do the beer and wings and sports thing? Mine is just weird I guess. But then again, I did marry him because he's not a typical man.

So, now we're at Monday morning yet again. We survived falling back an hour and the boys seem to be back on their normal schedule. I'm determined to make this week go by quickly, because Saturday is when I get to head to my hair dresser for a pretty drastic change and I'm antsy with anticipation. Maybe we'll hit up the Children's Museum and meet some friends for lunch. The days always seem to go so much quicker when we get out of the house.

And on that note, the baby is up.

Dear Beckett,

I really wish you could explain to me why your crib seems to be so evil today, and why a nap is so incredibly unappealing. You know that schedule we worked out? The whole go to sleep after being awake for two hours thing? You were doing really good with that. You even got the hang of falling asleep on your own for a little while. Did something happen to change your mind? Monster in the closet? Indigestion? An incredible urge to see Mommy jump in front of a bus?

Even though it took two hours, I do appreciate that you finally went to sleep. You really shouldn't drive Mommy's blood pressure up so high, though. That's not good for you or me. Believe me, if I could cut off a boobie and let you sleep with it, I would. Doctors are still working on that. Until then, lets remember that taking a nap keeps Mommy sane, okay? All the cool kids are doing it. And you, my son, are very cool.

Love,
Mama

Dear Sawyer,

By nothing short of a miracle, you took a nap today for the first time in two weeks. You have no idea how happy that makes me and I would smother you in kisses if you would let me. However, it was really kind of rude of you to fling your door open the second my foot hit the bottom step after getting your brother to sleep. It really would have been nice to have a few minutes to eat, or pee, or you know, breathe.

I will say that I appreciate that you can at least tell me what you want. Even if it does mean that you turn up your nose at my suggestion of grapes and an English muffin, and instead demand "cakes in a bowl." For both breakfast and lunch. I do apologize for my failed attempt at a creative lunch though. I won't be making that again.

Also. The fridge. We really need to work on learning that it's not there for your entertainment. Yes, it's very neat that you figured out how to open the door and insist on practicing that skill 50 times an hour. However, as much as you enjoy carrying around jars of pickles and grape jelly, cleaning the shattered remains of them off the linoleum is not my idea of a good time. I already did that once last week.

Love,
Mama

Don't people blog on the weekends? I kept thinking something was wrong with Bloglines because all my feeds sat dormant for hours and hours and hours.

What? What's that? You all have lives on the weekend and don't sit around waiting for people to update blogs? Oh. Okay.

Not like I have room to talk. I didn't post anything yesterday, breaking my daily updating streak. If I had, all it would have said was I NOW UNDERSTAND WHY SOME SPECIES EAT THEIR YOUNG. Because sleep around here? It is crap again. Complete and total crap. We were doing so well by the middle of last week and I naively thought that the sleep demons were gone. But in the past two days, he has totally regressed. He starts crying if I even take him near the crib. And if I lay him in it? Alert the press because it is a BIG DEAL and he screams and screams and refuses to nurse.

And of course now I feel like a total failure because apparently I have traumatized my baby so much that he is terrified of his crib. Mother of the Year right here.

I am out of ideas. Sawyer was never like this. We'd put him in his crib and not hear a peep out of him til morning. He loved sleep and still does most of the time. Which of course, begs the most logical question: what did we do differently with Sawyer? Big difference: Sawyer was formula fed and Beckett is breastfed. I hate to jump right to the conclusion that being breastfed is the reason he has such horrible sleep habits, but at this point I have nothing else to go on.

This breaks my heart because I love breastfeeding, I believe it's the best thing for him, and it kills me to think that he might sleep better if he was on formula. No, I won't wean him, and never would for such a selfish reason. Because really, the person suffering most from his sleep issue is me, not him. So I'll just have to suck it up. But if a year rolls around and his sleep isn't any better? You can bet the weaning process will be starting. I'm crunchy but I'm no Mother Theresa. I do not intend to endure two or more years of a child who still nurses ten times a night. I draw the line somewhere.

When I started solids last week, my main reason for it was that I had hopes it would help him sleep better. Well, I couldn't tell you if it does or not because apparently my kid is part of a vast minority who wants nothing to do with anything that doesn't come from a boob. We've tried bananas, avocados, oatmeal and nectarines. He ate the bananas the first two times, but ever since then, all have been met with a sour face and and instant deposit down his bib.

I spent $50 on fruits and veggies and several hours preparing them and freezing them last night and this morning, and now I have doubts that he will even eat any of it. And seriously? Baking and pureeing fruit is a job. The skins of the peaches and nectarines did not "pucker and slip off" like several websites would have me believe. I had to take a knife to them and scrape the skins off little by little, with Beckett tugging at my pant leg all the while because he does not occupy himself for more than 10 minutes at a time. So I'm sad to say it, but this will probably be the last time I make his food for awhile.

Now that I feel totally inadequate as a mom having laid all that out there, I should go relax some while I can. I hear him stirring already and he's only been asleep twenty minutes. I never had the intention of using this blog as an outlet for frustrations, because I feel that negative attitudes don't really solve anything. But sometimes, a girl's gotta vent.

I guess I could at least end the post on a good note. Here's Beckett in his Halloween costume. I could tick off all the reasons it sucks and I paid way too much for it, but I don't suppose that would be very positive. So I'll just post the picture.

Beckett went to sleep in his bed tonight. By himself. Without crying. At all. Words cannot express how relieved this makes me feel. I was beginning to think we had a mutant child who doesn't require sleep. I'm sure we'll have some setbacks still but I am a believer now that he can do it. Hallelujah.

Today was our last day with 'Nese and Papa Sam. The boys had such a good time with them. I need to remember to get some pictures of the four of them before they leave in the morning. We all know how cooperative Sawyer is with the camera though so I won't hold my breath.

Case in point:


That was him saying, "Mommy, I don't see any stars." Hey, anything to make him look at me!

He did smile for a couple seconds when I started singing the Puppetmaster song from Yo Gabba Gabba. That show is not right.



Papa Sam found an empty bird's nest in the back yard. Sawyer was not impressed and tossed it across the driveway. I need to ask him what he did with it, because I want to make a nature table like I've seen some other bloggers doing lately.



And Beckett did what Beckett does best.

Naps have gone considerably better today! The only reason I'm posting is because he's napping. And my house is clean and ready for guests, thanks to help from the husband. He's good for something every now and then.

We cheated on the first nap, because DH took him in the car to get the aquarium toy and he fell asleep on the way home. But hey, it was a nap and we took it. I counted two hours from when he woke up from that nap to try again. I had cozied up his crib with the bumpers I sewed months ago, a new mattress cover, fresh sheet, and soft blankie and stuffed animals. Took him in his room and nursed him, then put him in the crib.

He was okay for about ten minutes, babbling and playing with the toys. When his fussing got louder, DH went up to comfort him. He did that three times, laying him back down each time. I really thought he was going to nod off but he ended up getting irate, so I nursed him again and he fell asleep during that. Again, sort of cheating, but it's a step in the right direction. All in all, it took about an hour, and I felt good about it because we did not allow him to cry at all (fussing and crying are totally different). We kept him in his room the whole time and were persistent that it was nap time, so I think after a few days of this he will get better at it.

I'm now showered and the house is clean (and yeah, the hair sculpture still resides in the drain; told you I was bad about that), I've made a big dent in laundry and had lunch. So after Beckett wakes up, I think I'll nurse him and then make a quick trip to the fabric store before our company gets here. I've been obsessed with craft blogs for the past week or so and there are so many things I'm itching to sew up. Bluebirdbaby inspired me to make some corduroy pants for the boys, Not So Fancy Nancy posted a tote bag tutorial I'm dying to try and happythings has much quilty goodness I can't wait to use my stash up on.

I'm anxious to be able to sew some things for myself and as gifts for a change. For the past couple months, I've done nothing but fill orders, and while it's nice to make money, it can get pretty monotonous. (However, I am only about $400 away from paying off my 24" iMac that I bought on credit just a month ago, so I can't complain too much!) I haven't made anything for my own kids in ages. A couple nights ago, I made a couple sets of coasters to send out as surprises for some friends, and it was so fulfilling. Plus, I got to use scraps! I have piles and piles of scraps just begging to be made beautiful.

And yes, I still keep buying fabric despite the stash I have that is taking over the house. I can't resist it. It's textile porn for me. I have a total fiber fetish.

My brain is too ravaged to blog tonight. Major sleep issues going on, still. I'm pretty sure it's because we are inconsistent and always just do "whatever works" to get him to sleep, whether it be walking or TV or a car ride or nursing. He needs the same thing every time to fall into a routine.

I remember someone telling me with Sawyer to put him down for a nap after he has been awake for two hours, even if he didn't seem tired. And it worked with him. So we will be starting that tomorrow, equipped with the Ocean Wonders Aquarium that I will steal from my mom's house.

I would give my left ovary for him to be able to put himself to sleep. This stuff is torture. I can handle the night wakings, but the never-ending battle to actually go to sleep in the first place? Six months of that is quite enough, thanks. I'll have a break now, please.

I will be sparse around these parts for the next few days. But with good reason! DH's grandparents from Texas are coming to visit us for the first time and I am stoked. The last time they saw Sawyer, he was 9 months old, which obviously means they haven't met Beckett at all. So tomorrow will be spent battling the sleep monster and disguising my house to make it look like wild boars don't actually live and breed here. If I don't come back in five days, you can be pretty sure a closet swallowed me.

I keep thinking Sam is asleep, only to hear him thunder across the floor above my head again. He already emptied his drawers again (!!!), as well as the drawer under his bed, so there isn't anything left for him to destroy in there. Unless he decides to stack the drawers up and play mountain climber again. I haven't heard the rumble of them toppling over yet though, so he must be biding his time.

Earlier today I could hear him being too quiet at the top of the stairs, and when I asked him what he was doing I was met with, "Spitting my water." I marched up and snatched the cup from him, and when I turned around to go back down he said, "You better get a towel."

"Yes sir, I will get a towel, and you will clean up the mess."

"No, Mommy. I goin' in my house. Bye."

Why didn't anyone tell me that the attitude starts at two years old? Shouldn't he still be struggling to form sentences? The teachers at pre-school next year are going to love him.

He went into his Little Tikes house and slammed the door, and when I tried to get him to come out and help me clean up the water, he responded by bellowing "STOP! GET OUT, MOMMY."

He's still playing with that dollar I gave him yesterday, too. He has crumpled it up, shoved it in his pocket, teased his brother with it and chewed on it, but has astonishingly left it in one piece. I am considering putting it in his baby book, because this is pretty monumental.

Bex was in true form this morning, wailing like an abandoned kitten and trying to launch himself out of the bouncer every time I tried to put him in it so I could get some orders finished. So in an act of desperation, I slung him on my back in the mei tai and kept on sewing. And let me tell you, I feel like I have discovered a magical power now because he actually let me work like that! He was content with chewing on the strap and I trucked through the rest of my orders in record time.

I took pictures, of course, and I hope no one laughs too hard at my scraggly hair and pajama attire. It was either that or take him out so I could shower, get dressed and fix my hair. Which was just not happening at 8am.

I was even more surprised when I turned my back to the camera to snap a close-up of him and realized that not only was he happy, he was asleep. Sam NEVER fell asleep on my back when he was a baby so I hadn't even considered that Bex might. And if that wasn't enough to make me feel like Super Mom -- I actually managed to wrangle him off my back and into the crib without waking him up. I barely had time to snap pictures of the orders before he woke up twenty minutes later, but I still felt pretty awesome about it.

Apparently, 20-minute naps are the trend today because he's already up from his second one and is fussing at me to pick him up. So much for eating lunch after blogging. All I have consumed today are two cupcakes and two Diet Dr. Peppers. I wish I could find the humor in this situation but it's just not happening today.

I can now add 'walking down the street' to the list of places I have breastfed in public.

DH and I took the boys on a walk while dinner was cooking, and about halfway through Bex decided he had to eat OMG RIGHT NOW! or he would spontaneously combust. We were still about ten minutes from the house, so rather than carry him screeching the whole way, up came the shirt. It would have been nice to have a sling to support his 22 pounds, but I actually did pretty awesome without one. None of the dozen or so people out in their yards even seemed to notice.

And. And! He nursed to sleep tonight. He hasn't done that in a looooong time. DH and I might actually get to bed before midnight!

ETA: I should just not mention sleep on here any more. He already woke up.

I see what happens when I brag about sleep on my blog. I get a baby that wakes twice during the night and decides to be up for the day at 6am. No more jinxing myself on here, that's for sure. He's sleeping again now though, so I won't complain too much.

Yesterday was overly stressful, yet again. Are you noticing a trend? I got an email from a customer politely asking about the status of her order, an order I had promised to have to her by tomorrow. An order I had totally spaced on and not even started when she emailed me yesterday. Yeah, talk about seriously kicking myself.

So after Cara and the boys left, I spent the rest of the day trying like mad to finish the order, in between Bex having a meltdown every time I moved more than an inch away from him and Sam spreading a can of French fried onions all over the living room, amongst other random mischief.

When DH got home, I shoved the package at him and sent him to the post office to overnight it to its destination. But of course, that couldn't be the end of it. It never is for me! The phone rang fifteen minutes later. DH, telling me that our post office can't do Express mail past 5pm and the location that can is 30 minutes away, and closes at 7pm. It was 6:36. Well, my DH is truly my knight in shining armor because he somehow made it there in time and saved the day. This was no small feat for him, considering he'd never been there before and is horrible with directions. Oh, and did I mention he had taken the baby with him? Yes, I love that man.

He also called after dropping off the package and asked me what was for dinner. Big sigh from me. "Well, go and, you know, take an honest look in the pantry and if you don't see anything.."

"Do you wanna bring home Subway?"

"That was an honest look, babe. What kind of sandwich do you want?"

Two of the many, many reasons I married this man: he has a sense of humor and he loves spoiling me. I'm lucky, I know. :)

Today I think I'll allow myself to relax a little, because it's Friday, and thanks to the holiday, we have THREE WHOLE DAYS with DH home so I can get caught up on orders. Maybe I'll take the boys to see Pappy if he's home. We need out of the house. Tomorrow I'm going to lunch with a friend and maybe doing some shopping afterward. It will be a test for Bex to see how long he can go with a bottle of pumped milk instead of me (I'm staying close just in case). Mama is in need of more than an hour away every once in awhile.

It's official: Bex is crawling three months sooner than his brother did. Five and a half months old, before he can even sit for more than 30 seconds on his own. My children, they are backwards. Sam would pull up on things before he could even roll over, which he finally did at eight months old, and then was crawling two weeks later.

I had been trying with him this morning, attempting to coax him with the television remote. That's what finally motivated Sam, so I thought it might work again. No, instead it was a Subway sandwich that lured him. Notice a food trend with my children? He crawled over to mine first and clenched a big chunk of bread in his fist, and then attempted to attack DH's, which is what you see in the video. Not so subtle at implying that he's ready for solids, is he? Just a few more weeks, kid. Slow down!

Did you know Starbucks serves coffee-free beverages? Yes? Well apparently I'm the only hermit who didn't realize that. My mom and I met at Starbucks to chat last night, where I never go because I believed they only served coffee. And since coffee reminds me of a cross between old cigarettes and stale cheese, I don't drink it. Well, they do in fact serve other things because I enjoyed an Orange Cream and we had a nice visit. It was a good way to unwind after the Conspiracy my children had plotted yesterday. I took home an iced vanilla coffee for DH (which STUNK very, very badly. How do you people drink that crap?)

My friend Cara came over today with her two boys, Logan and Lucas. Logan is Sam's age so we've been attempting to make them socialize. Well so far, they either play alone in completely opposite ends of the house, fight over a toy, or push each other down. Best friends, I tell you. I think I have converted another one over to The Dark Side though, aka cloth diapering. I sent a handful of Bex's old diapers home with her to try out so she can decide what she likes.

Tonight was another round of Guess Which Way the Baby Wants To Be Put To Sleep Tonight. We tried nursing, walking, swaying, strollering, outside-ing, bouncering, TVing, and Motrining. He finally conked out during car-riding. Poor chunk had bad gas and I could hear his belly gurgling around. I always feel guilty when that happens, although I don't remember eating anything out of the ordinary. Last night he woke up at 11:30 to eat and then slept til 5am, nursed again, and was back down until 7:30. Progress, maybe? Lets hope so.

He's asleep now though, so I think I might actually go to bed before 1am tonight. More than four hours of sleep a night is a novelty in this house.

That's what this is. My children conspire against me. Seriously. When there's just one of them, it's pretty easy to handle. But when you throw a second one into the mix, it's like one says to the other, "Hey, it'd be pretty sweet to see Mom's head balloon up and pop off her shoulders. Lets act like Boston Terriers on crack, maybe that'll do it."

We traveled to downtown Indy today to have lunch with DH and some of his co-workers. I knew today was cursed before we even left, because Bex screamed like a banshee if I detached him from my hip, which made it real fun to try to get ready to leave.

We made it downtown eventually and visited a couple people in the office before heading to the mall for lunch. The Subway employees must have decided today was Move As Slowly As You Possibly Can Day. Honestly, I don't care if you meticulously place my two perfectly-sized tomatoes in a specific location atop the quarter-folded meat or paint a Van Gogh with the mayonnaise. Just make my damn sandwich!!

Everyone else was already eating their food by the time Sam's sandwich was made, and I still had to get Japanese for DH and I. Luckily Manchu Wok produces much more efficient workers than Subway, or I might have imploded. Lunch was uneventful after that. If you consider retrieving sippy cups and cucumber slices from under a stranger's chair and saving your toddler from a flight down the escalator uneventful.

Back to the office again after that to visit my mom, who works for the same company as DH. Got complimented on my hair by several of DH's co-workers. The ego inflation was nice, I will admit. Kids were getting restless and screamy so it was time to make our exit. They both fell asleep on the way home, and I of course had the delusion that I would be able to transfer them both to their beds and have some 'me' time.

WRONG!

Bex woke up as soon as I unlatched his harness. I put him in his rocker to contend with Sam, who I assumed would fall right back asleep when I put him in his bed. Not so. Ten minutes later I could hear his footsteps thundering above me. I went up to his room to scold him back into bed and knew as soon as I opened the door that he needed a diaper change. You see, my child can apparently poop on command. It doesn't matter how recent his last poop was or if I had just changed his diaper five seconds before. He poops because he knows it stalls nap time.

I changed his diaper and put him back in bed, only to discover that he had gotten into his closet where I had recently put his dresser, and dumped out all the drawers. Again. The child-proof doorknob covers that are peddled in the baby aisle at Target? Yeah, SO not child-proof, because my two-year-old most certainly can barge right through them. And he most certainly takes joy in emptying his dresser, which absolutely infuriates me. I also found that he had ripped open a beanie baby and was chewing on the pellets, but the damn thing had magically disappeared. Stowed away for the next time he needs to wreak havoc on me, no doubt.

He has a convertible crib that has been converted to a toddler bed, which means I can shove the open side up against a wall and he can't escape. I reserve this for those particularly hellish days when he decides to be anti-nap, and today most definitely qualified. So up against the wall he went.

You see, my child is not one of those that can have "quiet time" if he doesn't want to sleep. No, if he's not napping, he resorts to tipping over the changing table, shredding the pages of books (even board books, which he destroys with his teeth) and stripping his bed of the sheet and mattress pad. His room has been completely emptied for this reason, except for the dresser in the closet, which is obviously not safe any more either. What do they call those kids? Oh yes. "Spirited."

In between all this, I had been alternating between nursing Bex and putting him back in the rocker, pleading with him to go to sleep. But of course, this was a conspiracy after all, so he could do no such thing. He did a fantastic job of holding up his end of the bargain with his brother and ended up in his crib so I could have a chance to calm down and deflate my head.

I went and got him about ten minutes later, a sobbing, hiccuping mess. I am anti-CIO, but also anti-put my child on the porch with a "Free to any home" sign, so today he got to cry a bit in order to save him from the latter. I felt like Most Horrible Mother on the Face of the Universe and All of Creation after that, of course. As soon as I picked him up he snuggled into my shoulder and fell asleep. Poor chunk. Back into the crib he went, and ahhh.. finally some relaxation?

Or not. Sam was still belting out his opinion of naps at the top of his lungs. (He'll imitate me and say, "Stop! Take a nap! Lay down!" in the most stern toddler voice he can muster. It's actually pretty funny, on a day in which your head is a normal size and not on the verge of exploding.) Knowing I would become headless if he were to wake up Bex, I let him come downstairs and "WATCH-DORA-BASEBALL-GAME," as he says it. Several, several times, in a booming voice, just to be sure I heard him. Not annoying in the least bit, oh no. He is now crushing Cheerios into the carpet. But at least he's quiet.

And now I'm sitting here, banging out this post to vent my frustrations. Which has worked pretty well, actually. I think my head is almost back to its normal size. And to think, I thought all I had to blog about today was my Garnier Fructis shampoo for Works For Me Wednesday. My children, they do not disappoint!

Really though, I love my kids to pieces and I love that they give me the opportunity to tell such amusing stories about them. There is definitely never a dull moment in this house. Sometimes it would be nice if I had a pause button, though. Or, you know, maybe a padded room with a lock on the door, filled with chocolate chip cookies and Dora on a big screen. Either would work.

Now that Bex is close to being mobile and therefore a prime candidate for becoming Toy Snatcher, we have been working on sharing. Currently, Sam does not share well. He is two, after all. But! He is getting better.

This morning he was building with blocks so I added the baby into the mix to see what he would do. Bex grabbed a block right away and started marking his territory by way of drool, and Sam quickly removed it from his hands.

"Remember, we need to share! Can you pick a block to give to Bex?"

He thought for a minute, but complied. The purple blocks were apparently Off Limits, but he relinquished two yellow blocks and one green block without a fight.

"Here, have yellow. Here! Have green!"

So, mission accomplished for today. I have a friend with a 4-year-old who is an absolutely horrid sharer. After seeing him, I've become determined to keep my child from becoming That Kid. You know the kind -- everything is His, He is the center of the universe, the other children are merely minions in His world. (He even will say, "This is MY world!" Charming, right?) Which is to be expected at the age of two, but four is pushing it in my opinion. Anyway! I digress.

I sat for awhile and just watched the two of them interacting. If you think watching your child play and learn by himself is amazing, try seeing your baby admire his older brother. There is no greater entity in his eyes than his brother. His face lights up the moment he sees him, and he could watch Sam dance and play for hours. He giggles at every word he speaks and is just mesmerized. I love watching them.

Speaking of Bex, he did much better in the sleep department last night. Only woke once at 4am, nursed, and was put back into his crib awake and fell asleep on his own with no tears. Granted, this was after a dose of Motrin at 11pm following two hours of failed sleep attempts, but hey! I'll take what I can get. He's napping again already so he's making up for it.

I'm beginning to think that it bothers him when I drink straight milk. I had cereal with milk yesterday morning for the first time in several days, and the result was a fight at bedtime. I've noticed the same thing when I've had cereal in the past, so I'm seeing a pattern. I'm cutting it out for a few days again so we'll see how he does. I'll mourn the loss of one of my main food groups (cereal is appropriate for all meals, after all!) but at least he doesn't seem bothered when I have cheese or yogurt or ice cream, so I can make the sacrifice.

Oh, I forgot to mention how last night's bath was cut short by the baby deciding it would be fun to poop in the tub. I take a bath with both boys together, so you do the math. And if you're familiar with breastmilk poo, you know that it's not a solid turd. Ohhhh no. It's a swirling, slimy mess. The bath tub needed bleached anyway so I suppose he was just making sure we did it sooner rather than later. Those of you without children, take note -- your child might poop in the tub with you and you should be okay with that prospect before having kids! I'll save the tales of fishing in the washing machine for grape skin remnants and corn after a cloth diaper load for another day. Wouldn't want to completely scare anyone off just yet.