Wow. It's been over a year since I cracked open the virtual pages of this thing. I just spent awhile reading over my tirades as a new mom of two and had a good chuckle. And then became terrified when I realized I'm doing that all over again, this time with three. Here's to hoping that the little bebe I'm cooking this time decides to take after her oldest brother and be the most mellow kid on the planet. Yes, that would be nice.

Last night, I was looking at pictures of our kittens from when we first got them, and said aloud to DH, "I don't remember them being that small!" That, of course, led me to pictures of the boys in their infancy and those days are all but a distant memory. Sawyer is now a very articulate and sensitive 3-and-a-half-year-old, and not nearly the terror he was at age two. Beckett will turn two soon, yet is still very much my little baby. Luckily, he's past the constant night-waking and crying all day, THANK YOU GODS. How is it that I can barely remember what it was like back then?

I decided today that I would start writing here again, because I NEED to be able to remember these times. I don't want to be looking at pictures a year from now and not know what my kids were like in them, how their laughs sounded, what antics they devised to drive me crazy yet make me giggle hysterically.

I need to remember what it was like to show Sawyer the first ultrasound picture of his new sibling at nine weeks gestation, and see his eyes light up with wonder when I told him it was a baby. "Oh, that is SO cool, Mommy!" Seriously priceless. He then declared to his father and me, "Mommy, you are having a girl baby. Daddy, you are having a Spiderman baby. And I want a boy baby." I definitely cannot allow myself to forget moments like that.

I need to be able to envision in my mind how warm and wonderful it feels when Beckett crawls onto the couch with me and snuggles up right against my face to look in my eyes. He doesn't say anything, just grins and giggles and plays with my hair. Such a mama's boy he is, and I love it.

Sawyer is becoming more loving and affectionate as well, constantly asking, "Mommy, do you love me?" and demanding hugs and kisses throughout the day. I am so lucky to have these moments with my children and it would really be a shame to just let them slip away into the past, unrecorded.

I am one of those slacker moms who is the victim of the digital age, with very VERY few printed pictures of my children. The ones hanging on the walls are all I have. I take so many and am so far behind now that it would take hours upon hours and cost a fortune to have them all printed. I haven't made tangible baby books either, which I feel awful about. It goes hand in hand with not writing hand-written letters to relatives or compiling photo albums of our family for my children.

I have to start somewhere, so getting our day to day life down in virtual format is as good a place as any. Some day I WILL have the time and money to get those pictures printed, and my kids will have books full of memories to look back upon. But for now, I'm happy just writing about our adventures here for safe keeping.

So, hello again!